Impossible

It was just now that I decided to message him on his yahoo.

It was just now that I got the courage to do that after being traumatized.

I said, "I love you I'm so sorry. :(("

His reply was, "What is your problem? didnt i tell you not to bother me again?? stop messaging me."

The tears immediately pour down my face.

I was shaking.

It was painful enough for me that I wasn't able to reply.

I was still hopeful to save our friendship.

But its impossible now.

It's hard to accept that he didn't even fight for me.

I took all the blame even if I shouldn't.

But until now, I can't make myself to hate him.

I still love him so much.

Why is it so fucking hard to move on?