Behind every smiles or laughs, there's a tormenting pain.

I've been good hiding my feelings.

Concealing the pain I'm experiencing.

People thought I'm alright because I'm smiling and laughing.

I don't wanna burden them with my problems.

I just answer them sarcastically like I'm not affected or something so they'd just shoo off the topic.

But deep inside I'm crying about the pain.

But now I'm having a very hard time hiding it.

It's so hard.

It's so hard to pretend that you're okay.

That you're strong.

My emotions are spilling out.

I remember what my professor told me, "I know you're strong. I can see that when you talk to them."

I wanna tell her, "I look tough but I'm really weak deep within. I just don't like being intimidated so I try to intimidate them instead."

(I've been bullied when I was little that's why I'm like this. I tend to intimidate people to conceal my weakness.)

She's asked me, "What happened? Di ka naman ganyan dati eh."

I didn't answer her.

She said, "Don't let anybody see you're weaknesses."

I've lowered my guard too much.

Then it's been an open target.

BANG!

I'm too tired.

I'm too tired pretending that I'm okay.

That I'm strong.

Behind every smiles or laughs, there's a tormenting pain.

Now, I can say that I belong to the class clowns.

Class clowns = People who never fails to break the ice when the class is bored. And they're also the ones who masks their anxiety and depression by clowning around.